Choices, Decisions, and Trusting Ourselves

I've always had problems with making choices . . . deciding on which path to take in my life. I guess this stems from several things. The first one being the fact that my mom always made all of my decisions for me. She told me, basically, what to do and when to do it. She wasn't rude or mean or anything like that. She just liked to control things and she felt (and still feels) that her way is the right and only way. I guess the second reason is that I feel like I have made some pretty bad choices in my life (atleast that's what I've been told). I applied for a part time job in the evenings that I really need. After the interview I started regretting that I applied. I prayed that I wouldn't get the job unless God wanted me there. And, well, I got it. I'm hoping that I didn't make the wrong choice with this. It's 5 nights a week and I'm really stressing about being gone in the evenings. Sometimes I feel like if I have a 50/50 chance of picking the wrong thing (or wrong way) I always pick the wrong thing. (I know I'm kind of rambling here . . . I've been sick and Trent has been sick and up for 3 nights. I'm exhausted as is Trent . . . Oh, I'm also PMSing) haha I also am getting tired of how I judge myself. I guess we all do - especially women. Tonight I went to Fred Meyer for groceries. As I said before - I am totally exhausted. I've shopped at this store a million times. I didn't mean to but, for some reason, went into the express lane. I definitely had more than 12 items. The cashier rang me up and was really nice and just 'mentioned' for future reference that it was an express lane. I felt SO HORRIBLE. I was almost crying on my way out to the van. I knew it was ridiculous to be so upset about it - but I just felt so stupid. I felt like I had 'broken the law' or something. I guess I always have struggled with trusting myself and giving myself a break. I can do 50 right decisions, 1 bad decision, and all I focus on is the bad decision. Anyhoo, I have so much more to write about as I usually write only once a month or something (I've got to change that). But I won't get into everything now. It's going on midnight. The time posted always says an hour earlier than it actually is. I guess because Angela set this up for me in Portland. That's it for now.