Slow down!!

I cannot believe that I haven't written for so long! Where has the time gone? It all a blur. Sometimes it seems I spend way too much time just trying to 'get through the day' and not really being 'in' the day. Focusing way too much on all of life's problems that I have (which, I have to say, is quite a lot) - and not focusing enough on all of the beauty God created around me. I forget, all too often, to keep my eyes on Jesus. This morning I was talking to God and said . . . "God, please help me to fix everything". But then God told me . . . . "You don't need to fix everything - give it to me to handle and I'll take care of it". Wow, that helped a ton. Not but 1/2 hour later my husband came to me and said that he is going to help me more and that he realizes I've been doing everything on my own. He hasn't been too involved for quite a while. He said he was in the bathroom shaving and watching football when something (God) told him that he needed to be more involved and help me. Thank you God. He knows what we need.
I'm homeschooling Trent this year and it is going quite well. He is finished golfing with the Junior PGA for this year. Matt earned his Eagle Scout and received his award recently. It was great. Only 1 to 4% of all scouts are able to get to eagle. Angela is working on making some wonderful items to sell on the internet. She is so gifted. She didn't get it from me! I wish I had more creativity! Well, I'd better run. We got a new dog (now 2 dogs and 3 cats - oh, and a goldfish) and he is a little hyperactive. (Yes, I am nuts) If we take him for a couple of runs a day he seems to behave better. Love ya all.

Scrabble Pieces Beautified

My daughter, Angela, gave me some of these pendants for my birthday and I fell in love! They are so cute and are actually made from recycled scrabble pieces. So creative! They are from HomeStudio, a store on Etsy. I am so glad that I found out about them and will be going back to their store for myself and gifts for others in the future. The next pendant I want is the Halloween jack-o-lantern one. So, what I am saying is if you haven't been there already, you should. :)

HI

Hi everyone. I couldn't think of a title so . . . HI was what I came up with. haha If you read my last blog you'll be glad to know that all of our animals are finally healed. YEAH! Thank the Lord. Garrett and Angela moved back to Boise. Again, thank the Lord! I was very proud of myself because I did NOT try to talk them into coming back. I just told them that I'd support them no matter what they chose to do . . . but I was really hoping they'd decide to come home! They got a new little kitty. He is so cute. His name is Jack. I'll try to get a picture of him on here . . . and of my animals too. I'm also pet sitting 2 dogs at my house again. Jenny, a golden retriever, and Maxwell, a Sheltie. So when Garrett and Angela brought Jack over we had 3 dogs and 3 cats in a very little space. It was quite . . . interesting. haha I haven't been feeling well for a long, long time. I went to the doctor the other day and found out I am anemic. No wonder I'm so exhausted all of the time. I am taking iron right now. It may take a while though to start making me feel better. Some sort of kidney count was also low but she told me not to lose sleep over it and we'll recheck in 6 months. But, of course, it is kind of bothering me. I've been taking caffeine pills to try to get through the day. Otherwise I'd probably stay in bed all day. UGH. I really hate this. Trent is 28th in the state (out of 41) for Junior PGA Golf. This is his first year. That is really great. His feet are still really bothering him. He goes into the specialist again on Friday. Matt starts college soon. I can't believe it. He's taking some really hard classes! He has to take atleast 30 credits a year for pre-pharmacy. After that he'll go on to get his degree in pharmacy. George and I have been trying to deal with the problem of constantly working and not enjoying life at all. We are always so busy that we never get to do anything we really like to do. We have got to figure something out. I'm thinking maybe going out alone every other Monday (maybe even every Monday). All work and no play makes mommy a very grumpy mommy. :) Well, guess that's it for now. Hope all is well with all of you!

Matt's Graduation and Animal Problems

My son, Matt, graduated from high school a few weeks ago. I'm very proud of him. It was very hard at times for him due to health problems. But he really hung in there and got through - with pretty good grades too! It was great seeing him walk the graduation line. We had a wonderful get together for him afterwards at my mom's house. Now he's got a part time job and will be going to college soon. Man, where does the time go??? I can't believe I have one married and going to college and another one who just finished high school and will be going to college. My beautiful daughter and her handsome husband came down for the graduation. It was so wonderful having them home! Trent won't be graduating for 8 years . . . so I'll still have one in the nest for awhile. I'm very happy about that. My babies . . . definitely the sunshine in my life!
Now for the storm! We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck. We know that pretty much every month we are going to have something come up . . . but usually it's not anything to big. Not this last month. We have 3 cats, 1 dog, and a golfish. Our bunny died recently. She was around 8 years old. We really haven't had any major health issues with our animals. In a 3 week span our dog had a seizure and had to go to the vet, one of our cats was throwing up blood and had to go to the vet for that (they think he got into something toxic somewhere, and then one of our other cats disappeared for 3 days. When he came home he was a mess and acting very strange. We took him in to the vet where they found he had a fever and some sort of bite which had absessed and burst. Thank the Lord they are all okay now. On top of that Trent had to have special inserts made for his shoes (and get different shoes) and I got sick. We had around $1000 in extra costs. We are still trying to get caught up. I know that money, technically, isn't important. However, I will say, that life sure is more enjoyable if you have some! It's very hard to enjoy every day living when you are trying to 'survive'. I know it could be so much worse - and that we really are so blessed. I'm always telling the boys that we are rich in many ways . . . just not when it comes to money. I sure wouldn't mind not having to worry about it for a while though!!

Young and Old

I've been thinking a lot about something that happened at Albertsons last month. I don't know why it's been on my mind. It was a few weeks after Easter and while grocery shopping I noticed that the Easter baskets were 90% off. I decided to get one for Matt and Trent. The only problem was that they were up on the very top shelf and I could barely reach them. As I was wrestling with them trying to get the 'boy' ones down (don't think they'd like the Barbie baskets) this teenager came walking up the isle. He was probably about 16 or 17 and was on his cell phone. My first impression was that he looked to be a little . . . questionable. I heard him tell the person on the phone that he had to go and he'd call them back. He then walked over to me and asked me which ones I wanted and got them down for me. He was so nice and helpful. I thanked him, he said no problem, and he walked off. It made my whole day. Obviously my first impression was wrong (as they often are) - and I was so touched by what he did. We hear so much negativity about teenagers . . . it's too bad there isn't more focus on the good things.
On a side note, something that bothered me today . . . I was picking up some dry cleaning for one of my customer's on my way to clean her house. The woman working there, McRae's Dry Cleaning (not sure if I spelled that right), had KTSY on. I told her that she had a great taste in music and that I loved KTSY. She said that she does too, but, when her boss is there she can't have it on. Her boss told her that she finds it offensive. Geez. Yes, let's not play good, clean, music . . . . how about some rap or something? I don't see how it could possibly offend anyone. But, whatever. I guess I need to pray for her boss. She said she thinks her boss doesn't like it because it's convicting. That just could be it.
Lastly what I want to write about is my mom. She has been talking a lot lately about her getting older (she's 70) and what she wants when she can't take care of herself. For example, it really bothers her that at a lot of these care centers they try to force people to eat. She absolutely does not want that to happen to her. She does not want to come live with any of her kids and would prefer a care center. She said that she, of course, wants to be buried by my step-dad, and that she probably won't be here when Trent graduates from high school etc. It is really bothering me. I know that it's good to talk about it so that we know what she wants. I just can't think about not having my mom. It was hard enough when my dad died and when my step-dad died. I'm much closer to my mom so I know it will be even harder. I hate that people have to get old. I've always thought that God could have come up with something better . . . but I'm sure He knows what He's doing. :) It's very hard when you have kids you are taking care of and parents you are taking care of. But it is a blessing. When I was helping to care for my step dad, for over a year, there were days when I thought that I just couldn't get through another day of watching him suffer. But I'm so glad I could take care of him. It was a great blessing.

Choices, Decisions, and Trusting Ourselves

I've always had problems with making choices . . . deciding on which path to take in my life. I guess this stems from several things. The first one being the fact that my mom always made all of my decisions for me. She told me, basically, what to do and when to do it. She wasn't rude or mean or anything like that. She just liked to control things and she felt (and still feels) that her way is the right and only way. I guess the second reason is that I feel like I have made some pretty bad choices in my life (atleast that's what I've been told). I applied for a part time job in the evenings that I really need. After the interview I started regretting that I applied. I prayed that I wouldn't get the job unless God wanted me there. And, well, I got it. I'm hoping that I didn't make the wrong choice with this. It's 5 nights a week and I'm really stressing about being gone in the evenings. Sometimes I feel like if I have a 50/50 chance of picking the wrong thing (or wrong way) I always pick the wrong thing. (I know I'm kind of rambling here . . . I've been sick and Trent has been sick and up for 3 nights. I'm exhausted as is Trent . . . Oh, I'm also PMSing) haha I also am getting tired of how I judge myself. I guess we all do - especially women. Tonight I went to Fred Meyer for groceries. As I said before - I am totally exhausted. I've shopped at this store a million times. I didn't mean to but, for some reason, went into the express lane. I definitely had more than 12 items. The cashier rang me up and was really nice and just 'mentioned' for future reference that it was an express lane. I felt SO HORRIBLE. I was almost crying on my way out to the van. I knew it was ridiculous to be so upset about it - but I just felt so stupid. I felt like I had 'broken the law' or something. I guess I always have struggled with trusting myself and giving myself a break. I can do 50 right decisions, 1 bad decision, and all I focus on is the bad decision. Anyhoo, I have so much more to write about as I usually write only once a month or something (I've got to change that). But I won't get into everything now. It's going on midnight. The time posted always says an hour earlier than it actually is. I guess because Angela set this up for me in Portland. That's it for now.

Our trip to Portland

I can't believe we have already been back from our Portland trip for almost 5 days. I don't know where the time goes!! We had a wonderful trip visiting my daughter and son in law. It still feels weird to say 'son in law'. I don't know when/if I'll get use to that! The drive to Portland was beautiful. We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day. In fact, I think that was the only nice weather we had the whole trip! Lot's of rain - of course. When we drove to Seaside we had rain, snow, hail, sunshine . . . it was nuts! But we had fun anyway. The ocean water was so brown and icky looking. Garrett explained why - which I don't really remember - but it had something to do with plankton and reproducing or something . . . I don't think I really wanted to know since we were walking in it. UGH! haha We gathered some great seashells which we later threw back onto the beach as Garrett saw some sort of creatures on them. We had a wonderful time at the Saturday Market and we rode the Max. It was a lot of fun. Can't wait to go there again! Lot's of fun stuff and interesting people! We did a lot of shopping, eating, and even hit some golf balls. Garrett tried to kill me with one of his golf balls I think . . . maybe some hidden anger towards his mother in law. haha Matt lost my car keys and I had to pay $75 for a locksmith to come and unlock my van. After a few days (and LOTS of prayer), however, I found the keys!! Praise God. It would have cost me around $250 to get a key made as I apparently have some 'coded key' as protection against theft. Whatever. Have you ever noticed how all of these technical things (like the computerized everything) seem to cost us a lot of headaches and money???? UGH! Anyway, it was so great seeing the kids. It is so hard to leave them and come back home to Boise. It really, really feels like part of my heart is left in Portland. It so hard, every time, to drive away. I have to say that I was very happy though. Garrett and Angela seem to be so happy together. They laugh a lot together and I could tell that they are very close. It made me feel really good. Angela is a very good cook. Hmmm, I'm sure she got that from me!! ha ha Their house is so warm and cozy. It was also great listening to Garrett's guitar playing too. He's quite talented. Anyway, it was great to see them. We had snow most of our drive home! Oh, and the IKEA store!! I love it. I have to go there again. Angela and I dropped all of the boys off at home and we went shopping alone. We took our time and had a lot of fun. It was great. I hope we get one in Boise. Well, guess that's it for now.

Oops

Oh, Ang, I just realized those aren't scissors by the pictures on my blog. They are a screwdriver and a wrench. What's up with that? Should we add some new pics? Maybe after our trip, huh? Thanks.

Finally!

Okay, I am finally getting to blog again. It just seems like there's no time to even check my email or anything anymore. I can't wait to go to Portland and see Angela and Garrett. I hope the weather is good . . . but then again . . . it is Portland! Ugh. (Oh Angela, before I forget, why are there little scissor pics etc. next to the pictures on my blog? And can you add Matt's blog to my list? Also, if it's okay, would you add Dionna's blog, Eliseo's blog, and Garrett's blog? Thanks!)

I'm one of those people who thinks everything to death. Ya know, who decided that the middle finger is a bad thing? And when did that even begin? Or bad words? I contemplate everything. Not to be gross . . . and I've NEVER done this (but know people who have - Ang . . just kidding!!!) . . . I think it's called the blue dart or something. (Sorry) When did that start? And how did that start? What the heck were those people doing or thinking??? I could go on and on. I love my fellow man . . . even if I don't want to. It is a command from God . . . so I really try. However, my fellow man is so stupid. haha Don't you just wonder, as you come across different people during the day . . . . "What are they thinking"? I guess it does provide us a lot of entertainment. Like, Funniest Home Videos or Just For Laughs . . . I can't believe what some of those people do. Not that I've never done anything stupid . . . but hopefully nothing like that.
I also do this 'random test' thing when I go to the grocery store. I smile at everyone I pass, or say excuse me if I cross in front of them etc. I try to see how many people will smile back. Or, how many people are acting grumpy but I can get to smile. I have to say - over the years - the number of grumpy people has been growing. I think that's sad. However, I also have to say that, when I get someone to smile or say hi it feels really good. Especially if they were grumpy to start with. I was getting frustrated the other day because NO ONE would smile or say hi. I told Matt . . . geez, that's it, I give up. But, he told me that I couldn't give up. I had to keep being nice and smiling at people. He's right. I'll keep it up. I think people just don't realize what we are on this earth for. Really to just love each other. Even if we don't like them . . . we can still try to see them through Jesus' eyes and to love them as He does. I'm not preaching. I'm no where near perfect at this. But I am trying.

Anyway, guess I should close. My messy kitchen is calling to me . . . I tried to ignore it but it just isn't working. PORTLAND OR BUST! haha Only 1 more week.

Hmmmm....

I think, for me, the most stressful thing about blogging is coming up with a title! Does anyone else have that problem? I usually write about 'whatever' rather than something specific. Things have been so busy and crazy as of late. George had his shoulder surgery a few weeks ago. I won't go into those details as it would take forever . . . . very long and stressful day!! Anyway, he is okay and is now doing rehab twice a week. They said he is actually ahead of schedule as far as his rehab is going. He can't drive for 6 weeks so I've been driving him to and from work etc. The boys and I are also helping to clean at night. It's a blessing when we have family to help us and back us up when we need it! Matt got accepted to BSU today. It was very exciting. He is thinking about being a pharmacist. He'd go to BSU for 2 or 3 years - and then go to ISU for 3 or 4 years. Atleast he'd be home for the next few years . . . . unlike my daughter. haha (Just kidding Ang). Trent went to the neurologist last week. They diagnosed him with migraines. I'm not surprised as several people in my family get them. They are trying him on a daily medication to get them under control. The warmer weather has been so awesome! We went for a walk at Kathryn Albertson's park yesterday - and I started cleaning out the garage today. I've been putting that off all winter! We can't wait until we can go hiking etc. again. We love being outdoors discovering God's creation. Although, sometimes we run into some weird/scary things. We were hiking last year, between Lucky Peak and Spring Shores, and came across what we think was a satanic ritual site. It was WEIRD. I saw it and was thinking that's what it was but I didn't want to say anything to the boys. Then Matt came up to me and whispered that he thought it was one. Then I knew that it wasn't just 'me'. We got out of there pretty fast. We prayed the whole time we were in that area. I would LOVE to just go hiking by myself sometimes but I'm too scared to. Matt is getting pretty big and is 17 so between the two of us I feel pretty safe. And, yes, I am very tough! You may not think so . . . but you'd be surprised! Don't test me . . . haha Just kidding. We are going to go see Garrett and Angela soon. We cannot wait!!!! I can't believe Ang is going to be 20 soon. GEEZ. She's always been so beautiful. (And a little onery) haha Well, I have to go clean a few offices with George. Trent and Matt are going to earn some money for Portland. God bless you all.

UGH!

Life can be so exhausting, can't it? Ugh. I am just feeling very overwhelmed right now. There is just too much to deal with at the moment. George fell at work a while back and hurt his shoulder. He had to get an MRI on it last week and now has to have surgery on it. It concerns me for several reasons. One, of course, because I want him to be okay, but also because his job is a physical job and I'm concerned about him being able to work. That probably sounds selfish . . . . but we need the money, ya know? I did tell him I can help him. I don't want him to hurt it again. I went to a facial pain specialist about 6 weeks ago. Both sides of my jaw are out of joint. I have to come up with over $1000 to move forward with getting it fixed and probably won't have that much for atleast 6 months. It kind of depressing. Trent is going to a neurologist next week for all of his headaches he has been getting. Migraines run in our family so it is probably that. However, he also complains of neck pain, so maybe it's that. I don't know. On a positive note Matt hasn't been as sick lately (he has delayed gastric emptying). I just want us all to finally get healthy!!!!!! And not go broke trying to do so. Oh, and my van broke down last week (right after Superbowl). It was over $400 to get it fixed! We are getting a few extra cleaning jobs. We had a call today, right after I prayed, that some new cleaning jobs were coming up soon. That happened to be just what I was praying about! Thank you Lord! Tomorrow Matt and I are going to BSU for an orientation. He was going to move out and get his own place - but when I told him how much he could save if he lived at home for a few more years - he jumped right on the bandwagon! haha Even with all of this 'crap' (you all know that that's my word) there are a lot of good things too! Besides the sunshine, warmer days (so far), and all of the obvious blessings . . . . my mom made the yummiest sugar cookies yesterday . . . . cheered me right up! haha

I'm very blessed!

As I was driving home on Eagle road this evening I stopped at the Stinker Station to get some gas. There was a gentleman on the opposite side of the gas tank 'thingy'. I could barely see him. I heard a voice, in a very strong African accent, say, "How are you doing today?" I answered, "pretty good, how are you doing?" He said "I am so blessed!" Wow, that just amazed me. We chatted for a short time about being blessed. I told him that I was also very blessed and how I had been feeling so sorry for myself a while back that I just went and took a hot bubble bath. I went on to tell him how God made me realize how lucky and blessed I was to even be able to take a hot bath. God reminded me how many people in the world don't even have that luxery. I started counting my blessings and realized how truly blessed I am! The man then told me about how he grew up in Kenya. He said that, as a child, he could only take a bath once a week (if lucky) and, even then, the water wasn't exactly hot. He went on to say how his son sometimes will take 2 showers in one day and how it makes him think how blessed they are as he didn't get to ever do that. He was such a nice Christian man. He loved the Lord and wants everyone to know it. That's how I want my life to be. I want to live outloud! When I am asked how I am . . . I want to say . . . I AM SO BLESSED!! Not, oh, I'm okay . . . or, good I guess or even just fine. Beth Moore once said that if we own a book and have the ability to read that book we are among the richest people in the world! Wow. I really want to focus on the blessings . . . not the difficulties. Dealing with 'life' can be so exhausting and daunting. Each day I want to refocus my thoughts from the 'crap' (0ne of my favorite words - sorry) to the blessings. We have a place to live, cars to drive, heat in our home (or air conditioning in the summer), a bed, clothes, food, family, friends, jobs, healthy children!!!! I really am rich!

Well, as of yesterday, Matthew is done with high school. It seems so weird to me that I have 2 kids out of high school! He also is getting his Eagle Scout which is very hard to do. I think he said that only 4% of all scouts get that far. That's quite an accomplishment. Still trying to get caught up financially. We have so many medical bills right now that it's killing us! We should be caught up by March or April . . . that just feels so far away. I do feel like God is trying to tell me something. When I was taking a bath today I was listening to KTSY. A Casting Crowns song came on called 'Praise You in the Storm'. That's something I need to learn . . . . to praise Him in the storm. I feel so often that He just isn't around when things are difficult. I know He is . . . but I sure like it more when I can feel Him there! Anyway, we celebrated Matt's last day of school with Blimpies at my mom's house. It was fun. Trent only has . . . . about 8 years of school left. But that's okay. Atleast I have him home with me!! I am pet sitting for someone the next 2 weeks. Jenny, a golden retriever, is staying here with us. She is older and has trouble walking. That brings our pet count up to . . .. a lot. haha Two dogs, 3 cats, a goldfish, and a rabbit. That's a lot for a 1300 sq ft house! haha Jenny is very sweet and is getting along with all of our other animals. It's been fun so far. That's it for now I guess. More later.

Hi

Wow, you did a great job setting up my blog! I'm impressed. Not so sure about the picture . . . but I'm my own worst critic. It was so much pressure to think of a title. haha I could write and write as I'm very good at rambling. But, I'll try not to do that. Between money problems, health problems, and just day to day stress . . . each day is a huge struggle. But, as my daughter said, there does always seem to be a light in the storm! Right before I wrote this, with my facial pain I've been having and hoping the tax payment went through, I wasn't sure what to write. That's when my son, Matt, came out of his room and wanted to read the 'be-attitudes' from the Bible. You have to know that this is not something my son does very often. In fact, it's probably been a year since he last did that! What timing!!! And, to be honest, at first I thought . . . I'm kind of busy right now! But I decided to just stop and go sit down with the boys to read. It really made me feel better. There's that sunshine!! Ya know when it's stormy out and there are dark ominous clouds everywhere . . . . and then you can see rays of sunshine pushing their way out from behind the darkness. That's what it's about I guess. God sure does know how to time things! I just have to REMEMBER that!

To my lovely mom

This is from Angela (this blogger's daughter) to you, Mom.
I hope that you enjoy this blog and that you will write your thoughts and feelings and special times down here. I hope this brings us closer since I am now 7 hours away from you. I miss you! But, I can't wait to check your blog each week hoping to see a new post!
I love you and happy blogging! :)
~ Ang